Don't blame the tests: Getting rid of standardized testing means punishing poor students
(标题明确表态 — 作为报刊杂志文章,要吸引读者眼球)
Sean-Michael Pigeon - Opinion contributor
Sean-Michael Pigeon is a contributor to Young Voices and a senior at Yale University, where he studies political science.
Teachers unions aren’t happy, but this time, they're mad at President Joe Biden. In February, the Biden administration released guidelines to keep standardized tests in schools. Needless to say, a lot of school administrators weren’t pleased. After all, school board officials across the country are trying to delegitimize test scores.
(典型的argumentative essay开头段落,一上来叙述当前社会上对这一议题的态度,介绍现况作为hook。注意,至此并没有表达自己的观点态度)
But the administration did the right thing here.
(此句话就是我们课上说的transition过渡句,开始表露自己的立场,把话题从前面的hook过渡到下面的thesis)
Standardized tests are crucial in giving poor kids in America a shot.
(与上一句transition句子相比,这句thesis就要清晰明确的表明自己的态度和理由。同样,thesis永远都是有改进的空间,大家根据全文来看看,这句thesis还可以如何改进?)
I grew up poor in a single-income household. I couldn’t become a trained violinist or travel to Rome for summer school experiences. I could study, though. And because of good luck, hard work and high test scores, I now attend an Ivy League university with the help of significant financial aid. Testing and academic performance were the best way for someone like me to succeed.
(第二段立即开始用evidence来论证自己的thesis。注意,这里的evidence是属于example类型的,不是facts and statistics类型。而且,此段落采用的是topic sentence放在末尾的结构)
Nevertheless, activists argue that standardized tests must be discontinued to dismantle white supremacy.” Consider the SAT, the test most high schoolers use for college admissions. Activists point to data that shows that richer, more privileged, children perform better on the SAT. This has led to allegations of cultural bias and systemic unfairness.
(本段通过引用反方实例和反方专家意见,来陈述opposing views,但并没有开始反驳)
But the results of the SAT say less about the test and more about high schools' failure to properly educate. Students across the country are failing to meet testing federal benchmarks, even before COVID-19 disrupted education. It’s our education system itself that needs improving and failing schools that need to be turned around.
(本段开始反驳上述opposing view。我们在课上说过各种反驳反方实例和反方观点的方法,同学们要是忘了可以复习一下。这里是采用了“新视角来看待解释反方实例”的方法)
Blaming the tests doesn’t help anyone and, contrary to accusations of cultural bias, it is the math section that is hardest for students. Undeterred, some educators, like the Oregon Department of Education, now just criticize math itself for favoring the privileged.
(本段继续反驳opposing views,但反驳方法有所变化,采用了“正方实例来反驳反方观点”的方法)
It’s no secret that tests aren’t pleasant to take. They are stressful, long and hard. But they were useful for me, and they’re useful for a lot of other poor kids.
(本段很短,但是有两个作用,一个是作为过渡段落,从上面的反驳opposing views,过渡到下面的第二点正面论证。第二个作用,就是building common ground)
The SAT has been a metric for college admission programs to measure academic potential since the 1930s. Research shows the test is a good predictor of student outcomes in college — which is where people like me could succeed. And testing can help identify gifted children who lack privileges. For example, when a large Florida school district implemented a universal, nonverbal screening test for elementary school students in 2005, the number of Black and Hispanic students identified as gifted actually doubled.
(本段采用的evidence是典型的facts and statistics类型。跟上面的 example类型混用,是正确的使用evidence方法。此外,这里采用的逻辑论证方法是inductive reasoning还是deductive reasoning?如果是inductive reasoning,它需要满足哪三个条件?此处的推理是否满足这三个条件?)
The attacks on standardized tests are part of a broader assault on academic sorting.
(这句话是否偏离了thesis?后文中有没有对这个观点提出足够的证据来论证?)
Advanced learning classes in Boston have been canceled lest they create unequal outcomes. Others are going further. A number of schools in California will stop using traditional A-F grading to combat inequality. Who benefits from these policies? Activists think they are helping marginalized communities, but they are actually stripping them of their ability to showcase their talents.
Taking away opportunities for students to excel in traditional ways at high school will not deter wealthy parents. They will still help their kids get to college.
Rich parents can afford extracurricular activities like dance, music lessons and unpaid internships. It was only two years ago that rich parents were busted for literally bribing admissions officers to get their kids into college.
(这两个短段是否必要分开,合成一段是否更合适?)
And when eight privates schools in Washington, D.C., banded together to drop out of the Advanced Placement program, they cited the diminished utility of AP courses and the desirability of developing our own advanced courses.
(这里的“our”是指谁?)
Children of the rich and powerful don't have to worry about college admissions officers not looking at their AP-free transcripts, but students in rural and poor areas do.
(这句话是否符合现实实情?家庭富裕的学生就完全不需要担心自己的AP成绩吗?)
Removing quantifiable academic standards won't help the poor pursue elite higher education.
Two of the most important predictive metrics students like me have to show our academic success is the SAT and a student’s GPA. Asking colleges to reject these in favor of “soft” or “holistic” parts of an application will only favor those who have money or connections — students at expensive, prestigious boarding and independent schools.
(这句话听起来很有道理,但作者有没有举出相关的example,fact,或者expert opinion来论证这一点?)
No, a student's SAT or GPA is not the only thing that matters. Character, leadership and kindness matter far more in life.
(再次建立common ground)
But just because a test doesn’t tell us everything about a person doesn’t mean it is useless. It certainly doesn’t make it racist. But if schools abandon these important benchmarks, they will certainly become classist.
(结尾点题,重申自己的观点,并适度延申)