这是不是你的常态?
写作时思路卡住,同一个意思反复讲;
明明背了很多高级词汇和短语,考试时却用不出来;
总觉得表达已经很清楚了,老师却总说“太空泛,需要细节”……
在雅思写作中,细节不仅能够丰富文章内容,还能增强论述的说服力,帮助考生突破分数瓶颈。
今天就和Christine老师一起,学习如何用“细节”驱动“思路”,让“思路”驱动“表达”,让“具象化表达”打动考官!
在深入探讨细节写作之前,我们先来假设一个”反驳型“考官,他满脑子都是:
- “And then?”然后呢?
- “So what?”所以呢?有什么特别的吗?
- “But why?”道理我都懂,但为什么呢?
要让与你立场不同的考官,也能觉得“有道理”,这才是写作的“论述说服力”。
建立了一个考官形象之后,下面我们就以两个话题引入今天的主题。
话题一:社交媒体的影响
5分表达:
句子1
Social media can be addictive.
句子2
Many people spend too much time on their phones.
句子3
This can lead to problems like poor sleep and less productivity.
句子4
Some people even feel anxious when they are not using social media.
✅乍一看没毛病,但总觉得隔靴搔痒。问题在于:太老生常谈,道理浮于表面。
✅此时,考官可能会想:“我不觉得社交媒体会上瘾啊,比如我就能控制使用时间。”
7分表达
——去掉绝对化,加入细节
⭐句子1
While social media connects people across the globe, its addictive nature cannot be ignored.
✅亮点:用“its addictive nature”客观描述现象,避免绝对化,不易被反驳。
✅此时的考官心理:有点道理,请继续。
⭐句子 2
Imagine scrolling through your phone before bed,telling yourself you’ll stop after one more video. Two hours later, you’re still swiping,caught in a loopof endless content designed tokeep you hooked. This isn’t just a bad habit—it’s adopamine-driven cyclethat’s hard to break.
catch in a loop陷入循环
keep you hooker让你沉迷
dopamine-driven cycle多巴胺驱动的循环
✅这段描述极具画面感,通过具体场景(睡前刷手机)和行为细节(“再刷一个视频”),引发共鸣,相信每个人都能从中找到自己的影子。
✅考官内心可能已经开始认同:“没错,我确实也有过这样的经历。”
⭐句子 3
Studies show thatexcessivesocial mediausecan lead tosleep deprivation,reduced productivity, and even mental health issues like anxiety and depression.
excessive use过度使用
sleep depvivation睡眠缺乏
reduce productivity效率下降
✅在引发共鸣后,严肃阐述后果,提升论述的学术性。
✅此时,丰富的词汇积累得以展现:
“excessive use”
-->spend too much time
“sleep deprivation”
-->poor sleep
“reduced productivity”
-->less productivity
✅此时的考官会不禁称赞:“不错,有点水平!”
⭐句子 4
Therefore, while social media has its benefits, its negative impact on personal well-being cannot beoverlooked(呼应开头句ignored).
overlook忽略
✅最后呼应观点句,并注意进行同义替换,使文章逻辑更加完整。
话题二:旅游类话题
5分表达:
句子1:Many people enjoy traveling because it is relaxing.
子2:They can visit new places and try new foods.
句子3:Traveling also helps people forget about their daily stress.
✅同样的问题:讲大道理,缺乏细节。
✅此时,考官内心或许会质疑:“我觉得旅游很累,哪里relaxing了?”
7分表达
——加入细节,增强说服力
⭐句子1
Many people find traveling to be a source of relaxation, as it allows them to escape the monotonous and stressful routines of today's fast-paced world.
✅细节充盈的主旨句,能够更好为后文展开做铺垫:
✅设定场景:today’s fast-paced world快节奏的世界
✅面临的状况:monotonous and stressful routines单调而有压力的日常
✅此时的考官:“有点道理啊,请继续。”
⭐句子2“细节杀大招”
After months of deadlines andback-to-back meetings,a weekend getawayto a quiet mountain lodge can feel like areset button. Waking up to the sound of birds instead of alarm clocks, and tradingsoullessoffice lights for the warm glow of a fireplace, even a short escape can recharge the mind and body.
back-to-back meeting 连续会议
a weekend getaway 短途旅行
reset button 重置按钮
soulless 没有灵魂的
✅看到这样的描述,考官可能回想起自己压力巨大的时刻,那时是多么渴望能有这样一个reset button
✅恭喜你,再次成功打动了考官!
⭐句子3
According to a 2021 study by the Global Wellness Institute, 85% of travelers reported significant reductions in stress levels after just three days of vacation.
✅亮点:引用数据,回归严谨论述。
⭐句子4
However, while travel can be a powerfulantidotetoburnout, it’s important to recognize that not everyone can afford such luxuries. For many, the idea of a relaxing getaway remains a distant dream.
antidote 解药
burnout 懈怠
✅辩证思考,指出旅行的放松效果及其经济门槛,适合双边讨论的作文。
在上述两个话题的讲解中,你发现是哪句话“突破了考官的心理防线”吗?
没错,正是充满细节的论述过程——引起考官共鸣的关键。通过场景重现、行为描述和内心活动,你的论述不仅生动,还能直击痛点。
比起在外围绕圈子讲大道理,学会在文中加入细节,事半功倍! 此外,想要在雅思写作中拿高分,记住以下几点
具体化:用场景、数据、感官细节支持观点。
逻辑化:从现象到原因再到本质,层层深入。
辩证化:展示问题的多面性,避免单一视角。
语言提升:使用高级词汇和多样句式。
Tip
*附本文实用单词和表达一览:
addictive nature: 上瘾特性(特点)
imagine doing sth: 想象做某事(用于唤起场景描述)
scrolling through your phone: 刷手机
be caught in a loop of...: 陷入...的循环中
keep you hooked: 让你上瘾
a dopamine-driven cycle: 多巴胺驱动的循环
excessive use: 过度使用
sleep deprivation: 睡眠不足
reduced productivity: 生产力降低
monotonous: 单调的
fast-paced world: 快节奏的世界
back-to-back meetings: 持续不断的会议
a weekend getaway: 周末短途旅行(逃离)
a reset button: 重置按钮
soulless office lights: 无灵魂的办公灯光
trade A for B: 用A交换B
recharge the mind and body: 让身心充电
an antidote to sth: 对某事的解药(解决方案)
a distant dream: 一个遥不可及的梦想
细节决定成败,具体、生动的细节描写才能真正打动考官,实现写作成绩的突破,迈向7分大关!
不过在提高细节描写能力之前,考生的写作基础要扎实,注重单词的积累、语法体系的梳理,以及写作思维的延伸。为了帮助学生们取得好成绩,通才会在平时的学习中,为学生规划合理单词量由助教督促落实,打好单词基础。
之后会有藤校出身导师在课程上帮助梳理语法体系,锻炼学生的英语应用能力,最后结合通才写作法,轻松拿下雅思写作高分!