雅思写作(大作文)评分标准解析之Coherence & Cohesion(CC)

今天和大家分享的是雅思大作文的第2个重要的评分标准就是Coherence & Cohesion,中文意思可以理解为连贯性和衔接。

这个评分标准主要考察的是学生作文当中,尤其是主体段里面各个句子之间的逻辑衔接,句子或者段落之间的连贯性等,其中最重要的3个要求的英文原文为 The message can be followed with ease.文中的信息可以被轻松理解

如何认识这一点呢?来看看在一篇写“极限运动是否因为太危险而应该被禁止”的大作文范文的主体第一段的部分内容:

In my opinion, so-called extreme sports are not as dangerous as many people think. All sports involve some element of risk, and there should always be clear regulations and safety procedures to reduce the possibility of accidents. People who take part in extreme sports are usually required to undergo appropriate training so that the dangers areminimized.

作者首先提出观点极限运动不像人们想象的那么危险。所有运动都有一定的危险性,会有一些规定和安全流程来减少事故发生的可能,而且参加极限运动的人都是受过专业训练的确保危险最小化。 这几句话首先提出观点,然后对观点进行合理支撑,不管是观点还是论据都很好理解,且符合客观事实。

Information and ideas are logically sequenced, and cohesion is well managed.  

这个评分标准对于写好大作文很重要,因为它主要涉及两个最大篇幅的主体段的相关内容。意思就是在说明自己观点的时候,论点、论据和例子要有合理的逻辑关系,句子与句子之间的衔接流畅。来看一下下面这篇范文的主体第一段,这篇文章是让学生讨论“是让社会上少数人拥有很高的收入还是应该让政府使人们的收入保持在一个合理的水平”:

1 There are various reasons why it might be considered beneficial to allow people to be paid extremely high salaries.

2 If companies offer excellent pay packages, they can attract the most talented people in their fields to work for them. 例子For example, technology companies like Google are able to employ the best programmers because of the huge sums that they are willing to pay.

3 Furthermore, these well-paid employees are likely to be highly motivated to work hard and therefore drive their businesses successfully.

4 In theory, this should result in a thriving economy and increased tax revenues, which means that paying high salaries benefits everyone.

1总述了人们被允许得到高收入对社会有益的原因有很多;然后第2句随即解释为什么有益的原因是这样可以吸引在该领域的优秀人才为之努力;再举了一个典型的例子提到谷歌公司用高收入吸引世界顶尖的程序员;之后进一步论述有了高收入这些员工才会有动力为公司努力工作推动公司进步;最后总结这样可以推动社会和国家的经济发展,促进税收,其实对每个人都是有益的。真正做到了论述有理有据,观点和论据的衔接紧密又合理,举的例子也很典型。

再来看看有同学写的相同内容的片段 A famous saying goes that jealous promotes the advance of people.In many countries, there exists a disparity in income where a small portion of individuals earn exceedingly high salaries.Proponents of this system argue that it is beneficial for the country as it incentivizes innovation, entrepreneurship, and hard work.They contend that high salaries attract top talent, leading to economic growth and job creation.

这一段用的词汇还是不错的,但是开头一来就是人们都说“嫉妒使人进步”,这句话就会让考官觉得疑惑,不能follow with ease,嫉妒使人进步可能是道听途说的规律或者是口头禅,它更像是一种“梗”而不是能够被用于引用的名人名言,而且也显得文章不够学术;然后第二句话话锋一转才来扣题,逻辑衔接突兀而不流畅。

Paragraphing is used sufficiently and appropriately.

这一点说的是作文的分段问题,分段要充足且合适,可以看到高分范文的分段几乎很少出现3大段甚至更少的分段,比较常见的是首段1+主体段1+主体段2+(主体段3+结尾段1这种4-5个段落的形式,分段的合理也从另一方面说明了学生观点分布的合理性和逻辑性,好的分段布局也会给文章增添整体比较好的观感。

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