今天，给大家带来一个IELTS雅思大作文真题的原创范文。
题目：
In some countries, old people who retire from work spend money on themselves (e.g. holiday) rather than save money for their children. Is this a positive or negative development?
审题：
Type: Opinion 观点类大作文 (我的观点：generally negative)
Body 1: elderly should enjoy themselves however should ensure there is an inheritance
Body 2: children may expect to be supported by parents/still parents have a duty to assist
Key words: rather than / development
- Model Answer 高分范文-
In some nations, the elderly use their retirement savings to enjoy themselves instead of ensuring their children have an inheritance. In my opinion, while senior citizens should pursue methods of enjoyment, the trend of only spending on themselves without passing on their wealth to their offspring is a deleterious trend.
One of the main reasons cited for why retirees should spend on extravagances, such as holiday cruises and vacation homes, is that there is a belief that the aged have ‘served their time’ working, and thus deserve their retirement to be spent in pleasure. While this is undoubtedly reasonable, parents, who are also most likely grandparents, should insist that a sizeable portion of their assets and savings are inherited by their children, and by proxy, their grandchildren. This continuation of wealth accumulation is the primary method used by family units to secure a successful and prosperous progeny, and to ensure that a family’s bloodline continues to flourish.
It can also be argued that by promising the younger generation an inheritance, they will expect not just a financial legacy, but also handouts and may even expect this type of support as adults. Despite this claim, however, this situation is rare, since for most, it is clear one must become financially independent. Nevertheless, in order to make life easier and less of a struggle, parents should still do their best to guarantee wealth is passed down, and in matters of great importance, such as buying a house, they should have the funds available to assist their children. In this way, parents can better enable their offspring to thrive, rather than just survive.
In conclusion, while those in their golden years should have every right to enjoy themselves, they should also ensure that the future generation is financially safeguarded, and so in my opinion, the phenomenon of retirees lavishly spending on their own gratification without consideration for their children’s future lives is a negative development.
- Essay Analysis 范文解析 -
- (1) Introduction
Paraphrasing from the Statement/Question 题目改述:
-
In some countries = In some nations
-
old people = the elderly
-
who retire from work spend money = use their retirement savings
-
spend money on themselves = use…savings to enjoy themselves
-
rather than = instead of
-
save money for their children = children have an inheritance
Standard Phrase for the “Opinion” type essay 观点类大作文高分句型：
- In some nations 在一些国家
- In my opinion, while 在我看来，
- is a deleterious trend 不好的趋势 (deleterious相当于harmful)
Words showing Cohesion (C&C) 展示“连贯与衔接”的词汇和短语:
- their
- to
- instead of
- , while
- , the
- only
- themselves
- without
Vocabulary 高分地道词汇和短语：
- retirement savings 退休储蓄；退休金
- inheritance 继承
- senior citizens 老年人
- offspring 后代
- deleterious 有害的
- (2) Body 1 -
Aspects that must be referred to 这段需要提到：
- Elderly parents should be able to enjoy themselves, but should also ensure an inheritance for their children
Standard IELTS essay phrase 雅思高频句型：
- One of the main reasons cited for why
Vocabulary and Collocations 高分地道词汇和短语：
- cited 被认为是；引用
- retirees 退休人员
- extravagances 挥霍；奢侈
- holiday cruises 度假邮轮
- vacation homes 度假屋
- the aged 老人
- ‘served their time’ 工作了一生
- insist 坚持
- a sizeable portion of 很大一部分
- inherited by 由……继承
- and by proxy = through another way = the implication is = is an intermediary for
- continuation of 延续
- wealth accumulation 积累财富
- the primary method 主要方式
- family units 家族
- secure 保卫；保证；确保
- prosperous 繁荣的；兴旺的
- progeny 子孙；后代
- family’s bloodline 家族血脉
- to flourish 兴旺；昌盛
Words Showing Cohesion [Signposting words, conjunctions, relative pronouns] (C&C) 展示“连贯与衔接”的词汇和短语：
- for why
- , such as
- , is that
- there
- that
- , and thus
- their
- to be spent in
- While this
- undoubtedly
- , who
- also
- , should
- by their
- , and by proxy,
- this
- used by
- to
- and
- , and to ensure that
- continues to
- (3) Body 2 -Aspects that must be referred to 这段需要提到：
- Though some may argue that promising an inheritance may spoil the offspring, parents still have a duty to help support their progeny
Standard IELTS essay phrase 雅思高频句型：
- It can also be argued that
Vocabulary and Collocations 高分地道词汇和短语：
- a financial legacy 遗产
- handouts 捐赠；赠送品
- financially independent 经济独立
- less of a struggle 没那么煎熬
- passed down 传递；传下去
- in matters of great importance 很重要的事
- assist 协助
- enable 使能够
- to thrive 发展；兴盛
Words Showing Cohesion [Signposting words, conjunctions, relative pronouns] (C&C) 展示“连贯与衔接”的词汇和短语：
- also
- that by
- , they
- not just…, but also
- even expect this
- Despite this claim, however, this
- , since for
- , it
- one
- become
- Nevertheless, in order to
- should still
- , and in matters of
- , such as
- , they should
- to
- Their
- In this way
- better
- , rather than just
- (4) Conclusion -
Standard IELTS essay phrase 雅思高频句型：
- In conclusion,
- in my opinion
Vocabulary and Collocations 高分地道词汇和短语：
- golden years 退休时期
- should have every right to 有权……
- safeguarded 保障
- the phenomenon of ……现象
- lavishly spending on 大手脚花钱；挥霍
- gratification 满足
- without consideration for 不考虑
Words Showing Cohesion [Signposting words, conjunctions, relative pronouns] (C&C) 展示“连贯与衔接”的词汇和短语：
- while those
- their
- themselves
- they should also ensure that
- , and so
- their own
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