雅思写作母语教师范文:怎么改善不健康的饮食习惯?

今天,给大家带来一个IELTS思大作文真题(2021.12.18)的原创范文。

题目:

Many people like to eat unhealthy food even though they know it’s bad for them. Why? What are effective ways to improve people's eating habits?

审题:

Type: Report 报告类 (Reason and solution 理由&解决方案)

Body 1:  Reasons: laziness and convenience

Body 2:  Solution: Education and regulation

Key words:  why/effective ways to improve

- Model Answer 高分范文-

A great swathe of the population enjoys eating food that is non-nutritious and that has a deleterious effect on their health despite knowing this is the case. This essay shall explore the reasons behind this phenomenon, along with suggesting methods that could help people to eat more healthily.

One of the major causes behind this habit of eating unhealthy food is that many of these foods are convenient to either purchase or prepare. This is especially true when it comes to the fast-food industry, whereby instead of finding healthy alternatives, many people will simply opt for the easy and time-saving method of ordering from McDonald's or KFC, or other such junk food outlets. Likewise, in today’s world of disposable goods and ready-to-use products, many have become lazy and would rather elect for opening a package of processed food than to spend the time buying healthy ingredients to cook by themselves.

To counteract this trend of unhealthy eating, probably the most effective method that can be brought to bear on this trend is that of education. Just as Mcdonald's understands that marketing to children can help secure future consumers, so society should understand that by educating the young about the benefits of eating healthy food, they are more likely to avoid unhealthy foods in their later life. Government regulations can also help to squelch peoples’ desire for foods that in the long-term can have a devasting effect on health, with such policies as an anti-fat tax or an extra tax on foods that contain additives proven to be toxic,  helping to guide citizens’ dietary habits.

In conclusion, the main impetuses for people to acquire an unhealthy dietary tendency are those of convenience and laziness, and that both education, especially of the young, and governmental regulatory policies, can help to overcome this negative trend within society.

- Essay Analysis 范文解析 -

- (1) Introduction

Paraphrasing from the Statement/Question 题目改述:

  • Many people = A great swathe of the population
  • like to eat = enjoys eating
  • unhealthy food = food that is non-nutritious and that has a deleterious effect on their health
  • even though = despite knowing

Standard Phrase for the “Report” type essay 报告类大作文高分句型:

  • This essay shall explore the reasons behind this phenomenon, along with suggesting methods that

Words showing Cohesion (C&C) 展示“连贯与衔接”的词汇和短语:

  • that
  • and that
  • , despite
  • this is the case
  • This
  • , along with

Vocabulary 高分地道词汇和短语:

  • a great swathe of 一大批;一大片;很多

  • non-nutritious 没有营养的

  • deleterious effect on 对……产生有负面影响;对……有有害的影响

  • healthily 健康地

- (2) Body 1 -

Aspects that must be referred to 这段需要提到:Why?

Standard IELTS essay phrase 雅思高频句型:

  • One of the major causes

Vocabulary and Collocations 高分地道词汇和短语

  • behind this habit of 在这个习惯背后
  • the fast-food industry 快餐产业
  • alternatives 备选
  • opt for 选择
  • time-saving method 省时的方法
  • outlets 专营店
  • disposable goods 一次性商品
  • ready-to-use products 即用产品;现成产品
  • elect for 选择
  • processed food 加工食品

Words Showing Cohesion [Signposting words, conjunctions, relative pronouns] (C&C) 展示“连贯与衔接”的词汇和短语:

  • is that
  • to either
  • This is especially true when it comes to
  • , whereby instead of
  • , many people will simply
  • or other such
  • Likewise,
  • , many
  • rather ____ than

- (3) Body 2 -

Aspects that must be referred to 这段需要提到:Effective ways to improve people's eating habits

Standard IELTS essay phrase 雅思高频句型:

  • To counteract this trend of 为了抵制/缓和这种趋势

Vocabulary and Collocations 高分地道词汇和短语:

  • be brought to bear on 应用;调动
  • help secure future 保障未来
  • to avoid 避免
  • later life 以后的生活
  • government regulations 政府规章
  • to squelch 制止
  • in the long-term 从长远来看
  • have a devastating effect on 对……有破坏性的影响
  • anti-fat tax
  • additives proven to be toxic 有害的添加剂
  • to guide 引导
  • dietary habit 饮食习惯

Words Showing Cohesion [Signposting words, conjunctions, relative pronouns] (C&C) 展示“连贯与衔接”的词汇和短语:

  • this trend
  • , probably the most
  • that
  • is that of
  • Just as….., so
  • that by
  • , they
  • more likely to
  • their
  • , with such
  • as
  • , helping to

- (4) Conclusion -

Standard IELTS essay phrase 雅思高频句型:

  • In conclusion,

Vocabulary and Collocations 高分地道词汇和短语:

  • impetus(es) 推动;动力
  • to acquire 采取
  • tendency 趋势
  • laziness 懒惰
  • governmental regulatory policies 监管政策
  • to overcome 克服
  • negative trend 消极趋势

Words Showing Cohesion [Signposting words, conjunctions, relative pronouns] (C&C) 展示“连贯与衔接”的词汇和短语:

  • , and that
  • both
  • , especially
  • , and
  • this

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